In this new video, I talk about a really key piece to creating our dreams and desires. If you’re looking for a shift to help you get unstuck and into alignment, definitely check this one out. Even after years of honing in on my power as a creator, what I share in this video is ALWAYS still so key for me to come back to (over and over again).
Check out the video below and enjoy, it’s a good one!
I haven’t shared this story before but I’m being guided to now. May it bless you and guide you, ever deeper, into the precious, great mystery of your life…
In the days leading up to my first ayahuasca ceremony, years ago, all my beliefs had started to crumble and I was a MESS. Everything I once knew to be true and all I had been grasping onto somehow slipped away and didn’t make sense anymore. I was left feeling confused, empty, and abandoned by God. I was angry and hurting.
I remember arriving to the location where the ceremony would take place. I totally wanted to change my mind and run the other way. I didn’t want to do the ceremony anymore. I was really freaking scared but I chose to stay.
As the night arrived and we all gathered in the small yurt where the ceremony would take place (still feeling nervous, but also beginning to surrender into this choice I had made to receive the medicine of ayahuasca and all that would entail), we waited for the shaman to arrive and I sat in prayer.
I prayed to be released of what kept me from knowing God, from understanding my place in life, and truly living from love.
I prayed to truly love myself.
When the shaman finally arrived and found his seat, we all grew silent, sensing he was about to say something important.
We listened carefully.
Then he said, in his thick Peruvian accent: “Everyone is looking for the answers to life. Christians and Catholics have been looking for the answers to life, but still… they don’t know for sure. Hindus are looking for answers to life, but still… they don’t know. Muslims are looking for the meaning of life, but still… nothing for sure. Everyone is looking for the answers. Then people come to ceremonies like this, and they think maybe Shamans know the answers… And Shamans, we are looking for the answers too… but again… nothing. Nobody really knows for sure…”
There was a long, potent moment of silence and then he said: “Okay, let’s have some medicine now.”
It was the most cosmically comical moment.
We were all waiting on the edge of our seats, holding onto his every word, ready for great revelations, all to be reminded that we are ALL seekers. We are ALL in the unknown. We are ALL longing to know God more.
I remember my tension fading away then and feeling a gentle smile form on my face. I softened as I remembered the tenderness, vulnerability, and innocence of being human…
Of being CREATED.
I remembered my place in this universe then (for that moment, anyway): I was here to explore, to grow, to NOT know.
I was here to LIVE this ever unfolding Great Mystery of Life.
The seeking itself is a gift to be embraced.
The longing to know God is itself a gift to be embraced.
To be in the mystery of not knowing is a gift to be embraced.
I let go fully then. I surrendered. I allowed myself to be led into the magic of the unknown and into the infinity of whatever kind of “epic” this world really is, honouring the mystery and majesty of this miraculous (and sometimes messy) life.
I’ve been wanting to write a post to share all my 2017 lessons and blessings for a while now but every time I went to, I felt blocked because SO much happened. I was EPICALLY blessed and also challenged to the fucking CORE.
After fully integrating the gifts from 2017 over the past week, I’m now ready to share the gold, celebrate God’s blessings publicly, and honour myself for all my growth and creations. Yay 🙂
Here are the tremendous blessings and creations…
🎉 I bought my DREAM home! It’s in a forest full of fairies and ancient native spirits who teach me and support me every day, it’s super spacious, cozy, and BEAUTIFUL. I truly love it so, so much – thank you God!
🎉 I got my dream vehicle! A brand new Toyota RAV4 hybrid to support me in living in the mountains, where there’s lots of snow, AND lessen the impact I’m having on the planet. Plus, the colour: Galactic Aqua Mica (for real – that’s the name of the colour and it’s all sparkly 😍).
🎉 I started volunteering again in ways I really resonate with: fostering rescue dogs and mentoring young girls to educate them on the impact and prevention of bullying and relational aggression. This work is so deeply fulfilling and important.
🎉 I traveled to Bali for 5 weeks with some of my best friends and coach. We had SO much fun. I also moved through a lot of self rejection stuff with my coach and friends, which was uncomfortable, but I’m so glad to have released that energy. Oh, and I received a MASSIVE Shakti activation in Bali too, reclaiming my power as a BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL, SOVEREIGN, SEXUAL woman of God.
🎉 I hosted two epic retreats for my sisterhood, now called Angels of Alchemy (enrollment is now open for AOA by the way! 😍). At these retreats, I started to work really deeply with the Goddess Isis and began channeling really powerful and ancient sacred ceremonies from her. Since then, she’s made it super clear to me that I am both “an initiate and an initiator of Isis,” a role I take great honour in fulfilling.
🎉 My business thrived (even though I took LOTS of time off to tend to personal stuff). I created an amazing new offering called Divine Prosperity™, which has helped 30 people open to and integrate the sacred consciousness of Divine Prosperity and deepen into God. I created my first passive stream of income through an offering I’m SO happy to provide – Strengthening the Aura Kriya (a Kundalini Yoga Kriya as taught by Yogi Bhajan). I also love that this year I created offerings to support ANYONE, regardless of where they are at financially or how they identify sexually, and that they are ALL super powerful. I also taught Kundalini Yoga as a guest at my mentor’s retreat. (I’m available to hire as a guest Kundalini Yoga teacher and/or sacred ceremony facilitator at your retreat; if you feel the call, reach out!)
🎉 I DIDN’T post on social media aaallll the time and instead took time off to unplug and rest and have my life experience for ME a lot more. 2017 really called me to allow that experience and let go of the idea that I need to be visible ALL the time or I won’t be in service or successful. I now know, even more deeply, that it’s not only safe to take time off, but it’s required in order to live a truly balanced and WHOLE life.
🎉 I activated and claimed my next level of intuitive gifts and magic as an activator and transmitter of sacred Divine frequencies. I also trademarked the name “Intuitive Alchemist” to reflect this uplevel.
🎉 I completed a level two Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training. This included a 90-day 31-minute meditation called “Breaking the Mask,” which my mind was pretty sure damn near killed me some mornings lol. It was tough some days but oh my goodness, I’m so glad I did it now because I’m so much more ME.
🎉 I grieved, celebrated, and blessed the lives, deaths, and passing over of four special people who have been such precious gifts to my life… my dear friends Patrick Colby and Hong Lac and my sweet grandma and grandpa.
But also… like I said, my ass got kicked a little. Or a lot. It may have been my Saturn Return. It may have been Kali. It may have been that it was just time for me to get stronger, but whatever cards were at play, I got rocked.
Here’s my biggest lesson from 2017, which I had to learn over and over again and in parts: I MUST identify my truest deepest desires, create whatever boundaries are required to support them, and I MUST uphold those boundaries.This is not an option, unless I want to get my ass kicked again. And thanks but NO THANK YOU. I’m good.
This required listening to myself to clarify what my true desires are (especially in the realms of relationships, support, and service) and then creating and upholding the boundaries to support those desires (which ultimately, is what allows me to best serve God).
In the process, many boundaries were crossed. It felt a lot like falling down and getting back up again, over and over.
I entered into spaces and frequencies that were unhealthy for me and didn’t serve my wellbeing or purpose – out of fear of disappointing, losing people I loved, being judged, etc. – and it was AWFUL. It felt like being bulldozed.
I kept getting knocked down and bulldozed because I wasn’t holding the boundaries I needed. I waffled. I wavered. Energetically and in the physical.
Now? I’m like, “Okay, this is what my soul needs – to do my best work, to feel safe to show up, to feel nourished, to have shakti flowing through me how I require to do my soul service, to THRIVE in all areas? GREAT. Let’s get those boundaries in place ASAP, then.”
And I’m SO grateful for all of it! I’m STRONG now. I know what I want and need to thrive. I know where to place my energy and how. I have standards that I won’t compromise on and those boundaries build the life experience I not only desire, but truly require in order to do my mission.
And the best part?
Life’s soooo juicy now! Because my energy is going where it needs to. I’m NOURISHED spiritually, physically, emotionally, sexually, etc. I am EXCITED about where and how I’m spending my time and energy. My creations are purely channeled gifts from God and I ENJOY them. I HAVE more energy! I feel aligned. My intuition is bang on and super clear (BECAUSE I’M HONOURING IT!).
2017 was about learning to say yes to me. To MY soul’s call. To HONOURING the desires and TRUTH of myself. Fuck. Yes. Thank you, God!
And now? With all those lessons and gifts integrated? I’m soooo excited for 2018 which, I’m quite certain, will be one of the most pleasurable, fun, creative, inspired, service-ful, and all around yummy years so far.
My soul frequencies for 2018: ~ PURE JOY ~ GENEROSITY ~ HEART-WOMB CREATION
So that pretty much says it all. I’m ready. LET’S GO!
PS ~ Thank you for witnessing and celebrating me. I’m so beyond grateful to have a community that lifts me up and loves me so much. I LOVE YOU TOO!
I’m feeling called to really open up and be vulnerable with you about my journey…
When I was 13 years old, I was stealing money from my parents to support my crystal meth addiction. I was admitted to a psychiatric ward for 2 months and put on heavy doses of medication. I was very suicidal and cut my wrists to try to numb out the pain.
I used to have intense eating disorders and was 50 lbs. overweight – I was trying to hide from the world… and from myself.
I had back to back to back HIGHLY dysfunctional relationships. I desperately wanted to feel better…loved…and searched for that love outside of myself.
I used to REALLY struggle to make ends meet financially, and I’ve literally had over 15 jobs – nothing fulfilled me, not even close. I couldn’t imagine being able to make “real” money, never mind make LOTS of money, doing something that truly lit me up. It seemed impossible and I felt defeated and lost.
There was a time, even after finding my calling, when I struggled to find clients who were willing to invest in themselves, I didn’t feel confident sharing my gifts with the world, and I wanted to make a BIG impact but felt small and powerless instead.
That’s (part) of my past. It’s been an intense ride, as it has been for many of us. I’ve struggled a lot and had a lot of pain and I did whatever I could to try to avoid feeling it.
Here’s what’s happening in my world now…
I live my life in deep devotion to God. I am connected to the spirit realm in a really powerful way that clearly guides my journey step by step.
My business is successful beyond my wildest dreams… it earns 6 figures/year, gives me the freedom to travel when and where I want, I can give freely to people who I want to support, and I get to create my own schedule in a way that makes me feel GOOD (no more struggling to find money, clients, or clarity on how to serve my purpose – thank God!).
I am empowered in my gifts as an Intuitive Coach, Mentor, and Healer. I support my (AMAZING) clients to deepen their spiritual connection, activate their Soul’s greatest gifts and intuitive magic, anchor in Prosperity Consciousness (so they can also experience the life of abundance and freedom they have been longing for), transmute their shadows and the dense energies that keep them stuck, and physically co-create the reality they dream of.
And I get to support my client’s transformations in the most incredible of ways, too! I have an amazing Sisterhood and Mastermind, Angels of Alchemy, I get to host beautiful, life-changing retreats, I teach Kundalini Yoga (which REALLY helps my clients to GROUND the big energy they bring through), and I also certify new coaches via my Intuitive Coaching School. I love my work SO much – it DEFINITELY fulfills me.
I feel vibrant, sexy, strong, and healthy in my body. I work out regularly, have a strong daily Kundalini Yoga & Meditation practice, and eat all organic, high-vibrational foods.
I have the most amazing man who continuously supports me, is also devoted to God and serving his Soul’s purpose, and is both my best friend and Soul Mate (I love you James ❤️).
I’m not trying to brag or paint you a perfect picture of me or my life here. Believe me, it’s not perfect. Sometimes it’s really messy! I still have to face my shit and do my (sometimes seemingly endless!) work on myself.
I’m sharing all of this with you because there are two things (for now) that I REALLY want you to know…
1. WE MUST FACE OUR SHADOWS AND WE MUST LOVE THEM UP – THIS IS WHERE SACRED ALCHEMY BEGINS.
I’m not making MASSIVE quantum leaps in every area of my life on the regular because things are just smooth sailing for me or because I’m lucky. One of the KEY reasons is because I have FINALLY learned to EMBRACE my shadows, FEEL my pain, BE with the darkness, and rather than push my fears away, bring them CLOSER so I can transmute them.
Alchemy requires us to look at our shadows and heavier energies we experience. We cannot transform those denser energies if we are unwilling to even look at them. We need to have the courage to look them right in the eye, pull them closer, and ILLUMINATE them with LOVE.
I think I’ll share another post soon going deeper into the how part of sacred alchemy. For now though, to get you started, I invite you to really look at what aspects of yourself or your life you’ve been afraid of facing and see if there are any feelings or thoughts you’ve been numbing down or pushing away. From a gentle, non-judgmental place, find love for those pieces of yourself and your life. This is REALLY important and this WILL shift your reality. We have to integrate ourselves fully.
Remember to stay anchored in the Truth as you do this deep work and look at these aspects of yourself too… The Truth is God’s got you. You are safe. You are an Infinite Soul. You are a Powerful Divine Being. You are perfect just the way you are, wounds, fears, and all.
I remember this Truth about myself even when I’m working through the murkiest of my shadows. This enables me to transmute energies powerfully and quickly. This is why my life has become a series of one epic quantum leap after the next.
2. YOU CAN MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!
I REALLY want you to know that you CAN get out of your stuck-ness and into the life you desire. No matter where you are at right now, you CAN shift things! If I can go from a lost 13 year old meth head to a thriving inspiration helping people in such profound ways, you can shift your life too!
If nothing else, I hope that from reading this post you feel inspired to KEEP GOING. Don’t quit on your dreams. Don’t quit on yourself! You truly can BE and DO whatever your Soul desires. Trust God and trust yourself. YOU CAN DO THIS!
Sister, I believe in you so much. I know how powerful you are. I know you can make the changes you desire in your life. If you’re ready to make some big quantum leaps too, and you’re ready to receive the support, miracles, and blessings you desire, here’s your opportunity!
Angels of Alchemy, my yearly Sisterhood and Mastermind, is open for applications again and the spots are almost full! If you feel drawn to learn more about this incredible, life-changing opportunity, here’s your invitation! You can learn more and apply for Angels of Alchemy here. (I would love, love, LOVE to welcome you into this amazing sisterhood – it will change your life, in the most magical way!)